Have you ever been in a situation where someone sinned against you and you confronted them about it and they apologize, but their apology was only given in order to relieve their guilt? Their point in apologizing was not to restore the relationship with you. They don’t make an effort to rectify the damage they’ve done. Instead, they are satisfied with simply knowing they’re “forgiven.” What a sad way to live! Living with an attitude like that ultimately cheapens God’s grace. We may say we’re sorry and expect the other person to be forgiving, but then we continue to live as we have before. Why? Because now we’re “off the hook.”
Let me get personal now: How many of us transgress against God and do the same thing. We tell God, “Oh, you caught me. Sorry about that. Forgive me.” However, we have no intentions of living in repentance. We were just paying God “lip service.” Let me ask you another question: Do you confess to God and seek His forgiveness because you are broken over your sin and your heart is grieved? Sometimes we seek God’s forgiveness to “clear our name”, but we don’t seek His correction or fellowship. We don’t acknowledge His discipline and learn from it. Instead, we seek Him to relieve our guilt, but we never restore our relationship with Him. Friend, that’s not repentance. That’s worldly sorrow. It’s a sad state to be in when we operate by a biblical checklist, wanting to access God for His forgiveness and blessings, but not wanting accountability. As soon as we feel better about ourselves, and we get up off our knees and splash some water across our face, we skip away like all is well. It is not well because our heart did not change. We might feel better; our guilty conscience may be eased, but our actions continue the same. I pray we never get satisfied with shallow forgiveness that is void of the deep work of repentance!
What is the difference between repentance – true repentance – versus worldly sorrow? A good place to start in understanding the difference between repentance and worldly sorrow is to first understand sin. We have to start with the cause: Why are in this situation? Why do we feel sorry? Why do we feel the need to repent? It’s because of sin. The definition of sin is to miss the mark. It means: to fall short. God has a standard and we don’t meet the standard. We are all sinners. We have all fallen short (Rom. 3:23). A great analogy of this concept is archery. When you aim at the target and miss the mark, we say it fell short. Perhaps it didn’t go far enough, or it went to the side, and it didn’t hit the bullseye. When we retrieve our arrow without changing the sights on our bow, our aim will be no different. We don’t change anything about how we’re standing or how we’re shooting, but rather go and retrieve what went awry and start the process all over again.
What does the bible say about worldly sorrow? Let’s look at a few examples in the bible. One example is King Saul. When he went and conquered the Amalekites in 1 Samuel 15, he disobeyed God’s instructions, and he ended up sparing the enemy king along with the best of the enemy’s animal flocks and herds. When the prophet Samuel confronts Saul, he begins to make excuses and blame shifting. God was very clear with His instructions. Saul completely disobeyed the orders from the Lord. Saul admits his sin in verse 24, “Then Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned. I violated the Lord’s command and your instructions. I was afraid of the men and so I gave in to them.” Was Saul sorry that he disobeyed the Lord’s command? Was Saul repentant for his actions? Well, Saul asks Samuel in verse 30 to be honored in the sight of his elders. He was wanting to avoid public reproach and “save face.” In essence, he wanted his reputation to stay intact.
Another example we find in the Bible of someone who displayed worldly sorrow would be Judas. Matthew 27:3-5 says, “When Judas who had betrayed Him realized that Jesus had been condemned to die he was filled with remorse. So he took the 30 pieces of silver back to the leading priest and the elders. “I’ve sinned,” he declared, “for I’ve betrayed an innocent man.” “What do we care?” they retorted, That’s your problem.” Then Judas threw the silver coins down in the temple and went out and hanged himself.” However, it’s the way that Judas responds that indicates his regret for his poor choices. He felt bad…for himself. He was sorrowful…for himself. That’s the problem with worldly sorrow – we are sorry we got caught and sorry that we failed to live up to our own standards and potential, sorry that we have to experience the consequences. The common theme is: self. The focus is inward instead of upward. The mistake Judas made was going back to the priests and asking them to forgive him. No one forgives sin except Jesus. If Judas would have been paying attention while he was with Jesus, he would have learned this. So then why did Judas even confess at all? He may have been wanting to appease his feelings and quiet his own conscience, but by doing so he was suppressing the Holy Spirit’s work in his heart and mind. He should have yielded to God instead of his flesh.
Judas isn’t special. There are many of us who act the very same way when we are made aware of our sin. We push down the conviction because we don’t like how it makes us feel, so we try to pacify it by saying some words to make ourselves feel better about what we did. You know what? That’s not repentance. That doesn’t fix the situation, and it doesn’t repair relationships – with God or with others. Sometimes it’s the embarrassment that comes with “falling short” and we begin to fear what others are going to think about us. Have you ever asked someone to forgive you, not because you genuinely wanted forgiveness but because you wanted your sin to be forgotten? Have you ever had the desire for your mistake to be erased from the minds of others? Is your desire to be restored to God and to those you have sinned against? Or are you more concerned with having your character defended in someone else’s mind?
The Bible repeats a common word throughout its pages: repent. That is the first word of the Gospel: Repent and believe. What is repentance? Repentance or to repent means to turn around and go in the opposite direction. When we sin, we’re in rebellion against God. We’re going away from Him when we sin; but when we repent, we turn back to God in obedience. Repentance is a 180-degree turn – it’s a half circle – you are going back the way you came. Worldly sorrow is a full 360-degree circle, where you still end up facing the direction that you were in when you screwed up.
What are some examples in the Bible where we see repentance in the lives of God’s people? Many of us immediately think of King David who committed adultery with a married woman named Bathsheba. He arranged the death of her husband as a cover-up and then as soon as he’s confronted for it, he literally becomes undone. He confesses and admits he had sinned against the Lord, but what he does next is the most beautiful picture of repentance (Psalm 32, Psalm 51). David cries out to the Lord, he fasts, and prays. He does not care what people think about him. He is literally grieved before God because he had sinned against a Holy God. He is shattered and broken because of his sin. David shows us that repentance is acknowledging our sin is against God, whereas worldly sorrow fails to acknowledge sin is ultimately against God.
The Apostle Paul is another biblical example of repentance. Before he was Paul, he was Saul – the persecutor of Christians. He met Christ on the road to Damascus and he went 180-degrees into the opposite direction. He repented of his sin, received salvation, and the next time we read about him we see that he is doing the Lord’s work. He is preaching the Gospel and people are getting saved. He is building up the same church he was working so hard to tear down. That’s the beauty of repentance!
There’s another biblical example we can give of repentance and that is the disciple Peter. He had denied the Lord three times. The Bible says that “he went out and cried”, but it’s indicating that he wept bitterly. The idea was that he was wailing. He was experiencing great agony and grief. How do we know if it was worldly sorrow or repentance? Well, look at the results. When you see Peter in Scripture next, he is reconciled to his brothers in Christ. He hears about the resurrection of Christ and he’s going in search of the Lord – who he sinned against. We see Peter completely restored and he’s the one that’s preaching, and people are getting saved. His repentance led to salvation and life.
Next, let’s look at the repentance of Nebuchadnezzar found in Daniel 4, especially verses 33-37. Nebuchadnezzar had sinned and God humbled him. He was driven from human society, he ate grass like a cow, he was drenched with dew and lived like that until his hair was long and his nails were like the claws of a bird. The Bible says that after a time had passed, Nebuchadnezzar looks up to heaven and says, “My sanity returned and I praised and worshiped the most high and honored the One who lives forever. His rule is everlasting and His kingdom is eternal. All the people of the earth are nothing compared to Him. He does as He pleases among the angels of heaven and among the people of the earth. No one can stop Him or say to Him, “What do you mean by doing these things?” Nebuchadnezzar continues in verse 36, “When my sanity returned to me so did my honor and glory and kingdom. My advisors and nobles sought me out and I was restored as head of my kingdom with even greater honor than before. Now I Nebuchadnezzar praise and glorify and honor the King of Heaven. All His acts are just and true and He is able to humble the proud.” When Nebuchadnezzar’s mind was restored, so was his body and his actions. That is a mark of biblical repentance: You are no longer doing what you used to do. When you repent, your mindset changes and your actions should change as well.
Finally, let’s consider the biblical example of repentance that we see in the prodigal son of Luke 15. We read in verse 17, “When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, “At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare and here I’m dying of hunger. I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you. I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.” This prodigal son realized the necessity of repentance – and his will was involved. He had a change of heart. He had a change of mind. Repentance always comes with a heart of humility. You must be humble when you repent. It takes breaking down your pride to acknowledge you were wrong and to admit to God (and everybody that is relevant to the situation) that you messed up and you’re not going to do that anymore.
Matthew 3:2 tells us, “Repent of your sins and turn to God, for the kingdom of heaven is near.” Repentance is something that we must do daily. We don’t repent one time and never again. We repent every single time we sin. How is that possible? With the help of the Holy Spirit we will receive conviction for our sin. The important step is what you do with that conviction. Do you suppress it and try to justify your sin, pacify your conscience, dismiss your sin as unimportant, or try to hide your sin? Or do you receive the conviction of the Holy Spirit and go to God and confess your sin? A lifestyle of repentance takes humility and transparency. We must also be alert to the Holy Spirit’s conviction, and then we must make the decision to be like the prodigal son and turn away from our sin, selfishness, and pride, and turn back to the Lord and make things right with Him.
Acts 3:19 says, “Now repent of your sins and turn to God so that your sins may be wiped away.” Repentance is not just damage control to “save face” or not suffer too many losses. Repentance is a true, heartfelt desire to change. You have a desire to be obedient to God, please the Lord, and glorify Him with your life.
2 Peter 3:9 says, “The Lord is not really being slow about His promise as some people think. No, He is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed but wants everyone to repent.” That verse shows us God’s heart for us: God wants us to repent. He wants us to have a genuine desire to change our ways and to return to Him and to be in fellowship with Him. And here’s the deal, when we are in a right relationship with God, then we can be in a right relationship with others.
When God shows you that there’s something wrong, what do you do? Do you feel bad? Do you repent? How do you respond to Him?
2 Chronicles 7:14 tells us, “If God’s people who are called by His name will humble themselves, pray and seek His face and turn from their evil ways…” – that’s repentance! And what is the blessing of repentance? That verse continues, “Then God would hear from heaven and forgive their sins and heal their land.”
Ezekiel 18:21-23 says, “If the wicked return from all of his sins that he has done and keeps all of My statutes and he does justice and righteousness, he shall surely live, he shall not die. All of his transgressions that he committed will not be remembered against him. Through his righteousness that he has done, he shall live.”
There is always hope if you are living and breathing and your heart is beating inside of you – you have a chance to repent and make it right with God.