Love is one of the most used, and yet misunderstood words in our culture. We say we love pizza, love a good vacation, love our children, love our spouse, and love God, often using the same word to describe wildly different experiences. Culture tends to define love by feelings, attraction, affirmation, or personal happiness. But Scripture offers a much deeper, richer, and more demanding definition of love, one that shapes not just how we feel, but how we live.

So what is biblical love? And how is love according to the Bible different from the love the world often talks about?

Love Begins With God

The Bible begins by telling us Who love is. Genesis 1:1, “In the beginning, God…” and 1 John 4:8, “…God is love.”

Love is not something God learned, it flows from His very nature. Every expression of true love finds its source in Him. That means we don’t get to redefine love based on personal preference, cultural trends, or emotional experiences. We look to God’s character and His Word. Biblical love starts with God’s initiative. John 3:16 tells us, “For God so loved the world, He gave…” He initiated love with us. “He gave His only Son so that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life.” The only reason we are even able to love is because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). Love is not something we generate on our own; it is something we receive from God and then reflect outward.

Biblical Love Is Rooted in Truth, Not Emotion Alone

Feelings are part of love, but they are not its foundation. Scripture consistently connects love to truth and obedience. Jesus said in John 14:15, “If you love Me, keep My commandments.” This doesn’t mean love is cold or mechanical. It means love is anchored to truth rather than being ruled by emotion. Here’s the thing about feelings, they change. Truth does not. Feelings are fickle and conditional, but truth is constant. We shouldn’t wonder why, by the way. God’s very nature is unchanging. His love is unconditional. God isn’t up one moment and down the next. He is constant. His love is enduring. That’s why biblical love chooses what is right even when it is uncomfortable. It tells the truth even when silence would be easier. It stays faithful even when feelings fluctuate. This kind of love is steady, not situational.

The Different Words for Love in the Bible

Understanding biblical love becomes clearer when we look at the different Greek words used in Scripture.

• Agape – This is the highest form of love. It is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love. Agape seeks the good of another without demanding anything in return. This is the love God shows toward us and the love believers are called to extend to others.

“God demonstrates His own love (agape) for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

• Phileo – This refers to brotherly affection or deep friendship. It includes warmth, closeness, and emotional connection.

• Eros – Romantic or marital love (not explicitly named in Scripture but reflected in passages like Song of Solomon).

Biblical love doesn’t eliminate affection or emotion, but it places them under the leadership of agape love that is grounded in commitment and sacrifice.

Love Is Defined by Action, Not Words

One of the clearest biblical definitions of love is found in 1 Corinthians 13. Often read at weddings, this passage is not about romance; it’s about how believers are to love in everyday life.

“Love is patient, love is kind… It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud… It keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Corinthians 13:4–5) If you want to really know true love, biblical love, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is a great list to memorize. These verses not only define love, but they also describe God, Who is love. They describe Jesus as well. Let’s look at these verses together:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”

As you read through those verses, make a list of all the things love is, and all the things love is not. Now, put God’s name in place of the word “love” and read it again. Then put Jesus’ name in place of the word “love” and read it again. If God is love, He is also patient, kind, and true. That’s His character. That’s Who Jesus is, and we are called to imitate Him. He is our example and we are to follow Him. So now, go back through and check your own character. Put your name in the place where you see the word “love.” Can those things be said of you? Are those things true? Where do you need to change your behavior? What areas do you need to work on? Notice how you can’t be rude and kind at the same time. Either we are loving in our words or actions, or we are not. These verses serve as a good heart check, to examine our own behavior.

Something else to remember is that biblical love shows itself through action:

• Patience when others are slow

• Kindness when others are difficult

• Humility instead of self-promotion

• Forgiveness instead of resentment

Love is not proven by what we say, but by how we respond when things are hard. We are told in 1 John 3:18, “Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” That is not to say that biblical love is flashy, loud, or temporary. No, instead, it is the opposite. It endures. “Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:8)

This does not mean love avoids pain or difficulty. It means love remains faithful through them. It keeps showing up. It keeps choosing grace. It keeps trusting God to work in hearts and circumstances. Biblical love lasts because it is anchored in the unchanging nature of God Himself.

Love Is Sacrificial, Not Self-Seeking

At the center of biblical love is sacrifice. Jesus defined love this way: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13)

Biblical love asks:

• What does this person need?

• How can I serve rather than be served?

• How can I reflect Christ in this moment?

This kind of love often costs us something: comfort, pride, time, or convenience. It does not insist on getting its own way. It is willing to suffer loss for the good of another. That’s why biblical love stands in contrast to cultural love, which often says, “I’ll love you as long as this meets my needs.”

Love and Holiness Are Not Opposites

One of the greatest misunderstandings about biblical love is the idea that love means unconditional approval. Scripture never separates love from holiness. In fact, true love seeks what is best for another, even when that involves correction or boundaries. Hebrews 12:6 says, “The Lord disciplines those He loves.”

Biblical love:

• Speaks truth with gentleness

• Sets healthy boundaries

• Refuses to affirm sin while still loving the sinner

• Calls people toward repentance and restoration

Jesus modeled this perfectly because He was “full of grace and full of truth” (John 1:14). Love without truth becomes compromise. Truth without love becomes harshness. But biblical love holds both together.

Loving Others as a Reflection of Loving God

Jesus made love the defining mark of His followers. He says in John 13:35, “By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.” Our love for others is not optional, In fact, our love for others is evidence of our relationship with God. Scripture is clear that we cannot claim to love God while withholding love from people, especially our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

“Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar.” (1 John 4:20)

Biblical love crosses boundaries. It extends grace to the undeserving. It chooses unity over division. It forgives repeatedly. This kind of love is supernatural. It cannot be lived out in human strength alone; it requires the work of the Holy Spirit. We cannot love in the way we ought to unless we first have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. That’s why we are told in 1 John 4:19, “We love, because He first loved us.” When we receive salvation, we are receiving that love God extended toward us when He sent His Son to die on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins. The Holy Spirit comes to dwell in us, at the moment of salvation, and He gives us the supernatural ability to love others in a way we had never been able to love before.

Love Is a Fruit, Not a Performance

Love is not something we force ourselves to manufacture. Galatians 5:22 tells us that love is a fruit of the Spirit. That means love grows as we remain connected to Christ. It is the result of transformation, not self-effort. When we struggle to love, the solution is not trying harder, it is abiding deeper. As we spend time with God, allow His Word to shape us, and submit to His Spirit, love becomes the natural overflow of a changed heart.

Living Out Biblical Love Today

We love to help women live out real live faith, applying the Word of God to our life. This is not a self-centered view of Scripture. This is also not a “name it, claim it” theology. When we talk about applying God’s Word to our life, we are talking about obedience. We don’t want to be hearers of God’s Word only; we want to be doers of His Word (James 1:22-25). So what does biblical love look like in everyday life?

It looks like:

• Choosing patience over irritation

• Speaking truth with compassion

• Forgiving when it’s hard

• Loving people who can’t repay you

• Staying faithful in relationships when emotions waver

• Reflecting Christ in how you treat others

Biblical love is not passive. It is intentional. What are some things you can do this week to show love towards those in your home, in your extended family, at your workplace, at your church, or in your community? Biblical love is far more than a feeling; it is a way of life shaped by the heart of God. It is sacrificial, truthful, enduring, and holy. It reflects Christ. It costs something. And it changes everything.

When we allow God to define love for us, we discover that love according to the Bible doesn’t just make us feel good, it makes us more like Jesus! And that’s only possible when we have a personal relationship with the Savior. Have you received salvation? Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?

The bible says in Romans 3:23 that all have sinned. Everybody is a sinner. Being a sinner separates us from having a relationship with a holy God. We need a solution. If it wasn’t for God sending His Son to deal with sin, we couldn’t be saved from the penalty of sin. Romans 5:8 says that God demonstrated His love toward us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. The Bible teaches that everyone will die (everyone knows this is true) and that after death in this life comes a moment of judgment (Hebrews 9:27). That moment of judgment does not need to end badly. God has given us a gift. His name is Jesus Christ. This is really good news! If you are “in Christ,” that means you’ve put your faith in Him, believing that He died for you and rose again from the dead on the third day (1 Corinthians 15:4). Anyone in Christ is not going to be condemned for their sin and will not go to hell. If that’s you, then you don’t need to walk around feeling guilty or shameful over your sin once you’ve believed in Christ because your sin is washed away (1 John 1:7). Do you believe that Jesus is Lord? Do you believe He was the Son of God who died for your sin and rose from the dead? Are you willing to confess your sin, accepting the bad news that you are spiritually bankrupt without God’s help? Are you willing to accept the good news that God has made a way for you to have a relationship with Him and be saved from the penalty of sin, which is His wrath? The Bible says in Romans 10:9, “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” That’s the Good News!