Have you ever said yes to something and immediately felt that weight in your chest? Not peace. Not excitement. Just weight. You love God. You want to serve. You want to help, but you’re tired. You’re stretched thin and your yes is costing you more than you expected.

Sometimes we get overwhelmed and overcommitted because of pressure. Sometimes we just feel guilty for saying no. But we don’t have to say yes to everything that is brought to us. And we don’t need to justify our no to every request that is made. Obedience to God does not require explanation to others.

Why do we stretch ourselves beyond our limits? Why do we overextend our schedules? What is it that drives the impulse to say yes? Sometimes it’s fear. We fear what others think. We fear missing out. Other times it’s pride. We want to be included in things. We want to be part of activities and projects. And yet at other times, it is sheer ignorance, neglect, and disobedience. We don’t take the time to weigh the impact our “yes” will have on our schedule, our family, or our own mental and physical capacity. We don’t take the time to pray about decisions before we commit. We act irrationally and respond in haste without ever consulting God as to what He would have us do.

Let’s clear the mud on something. Being faithful is not the same as being busy and overcommitted. Being overcommitted is being busy and doing a lot, but being faithful is simply doing what God has asked.

Noah is a good example of someone who was faithful. He was focused on the task God gave him. He was obedient to do what he was called. Genesis 6:22 says, “Thus Noah did; according to all that God had commanded him, so he did.” Do you know what is not recorded in Noah’s account regarding the building of the ark? No distractions were recorded. No side missions were mentioned. The Bible doesn’t state anywhere that Noah wavered in the task. Instead, we find consistent obedience. Noah was faithful where God called him and he was serving God in a way that was honoring to God. Was Noah busy? No doubt! He was probably tempted by doubters and made fun of by unbelievers, but he did what God told him to do.

He did what God told him to do. That’s the difference. We can be busy with “good” things, but are they what God has called us to do right now, or in this season of our life? Even “good” things can be a distraction from what God has placed as a priority focus in our life.

Martha immediately comes to mind. Luke 10:38-42 tells us she was busy with “good” things, but she was missing the most important thing. Martha was serving, preparing, and working. Mary (her sister) was sitting at Jesus’ feet, hanging on to His every word and learning from Him. Martha wasn’t doing something sinful; she was doing something good. But she was distracted away from what was best and necessary for her. In vv. 41-42, Jesus tells Martha that she is worried and bothered about so many things. To be worried is to be anxious and troubled by caring about and looking out for things. To be bothered is to be disturbed, disquieted, or troubled in your mind. That describes Martha’s mind and her spirit, but she would have people think it was all because of Mary not helping in the kitchen. Jesus calls her out on that and lets her know her worried thoughts and bothered spirit was not solely the fault of Mary. It was also not the state of her home, or the need for food for her guests. Jesus told Martha she was worried “about many things.” Not one thing or even two, but many things. There were many things that plagued Martha’s mind and weighed her down. Jesus tells Martha, “but only a few things are necessary, really only one…”

Busy-ness can pull us away from intimacy with Jesus, even in ministry. And this is where we need to have discernment because the enemy doesn’t just use bad things to pull us away from God or bog us down. He also uses good things as distractions to make us busy so we don’t have time for or attention to give to or consider what God wants us to do. Please know, Satan doesn’t need you to do bad things; he just needs you distracted and depleted.

We need to be wise and discerning so we can acknowledge where the enemy may be trying to distract us with busy-ness. And we need to keep in mind that even good things can be things we must decline in our schedule because they are simply not the things God has called us to right now in this season. We don’t have any business being busy with stuff that isn’t for us. If you push past that truth, you will find a fast track to burn out and collapse under the weight.

This tactic of distraction with busy work and side issues is what the enemy used with the Apostles. In Acts 6:1-4, the early church was growing and going through some growing pains. They were in the days of great boldness and witnessing and great preaching. The congregation was growing and being added to. They needed more help to serve the needs of the church. The Apostles were overloaded with ministry needs. They were trying to preach, lead, serve food, and manage all the needs of the people. They were stretched thin, but they had discernment and wisdom. They knew they couldn’t neglect the Word of God (v. 2) and that they needed to be devoted to prayer and to the ministry of the Word (v. 4). Perhaps they learned this by reading the account of Moses and what wisdom his father-in-law (Jethro) shared in Exodus 18:13-26.

Moses met with the people from morning until evening, day in and day out. There were constant demands on his time as the people lined up waiting to see him. Can you imagine the pressure he endured mentally and emotionally as he tried to meet the needs of the people. Jethro states the obvious: Moses was just one man, carrying it all. He was stretched thin. What would result from his constant going and doing? In v. 18, Jethro tells his son-in-law, Moses, that he would wear out. When you run 24/7, you are headed for burnout and exhaustion because that kind of stress and stretching is unsustainable living. Was Moses doing something wrong? No. He wasn’t sticking his nose in wrong places. He wasn’t trying to be a hero. He was doing exactly what he thought he should be doing, which was taking care of the people that he was leading. He was leading the people, serving the people, and helping the people. But without limits, it became too heavy.

The disciples in Acts 6 knew that even necessary ministry tasks can distract you from your primary calling. Being overcommitted can look like carrying what was never meant to be carried alone and staying in it so long that it drains you. In Numbers 11:14, Moses shares the realization with the Lord that he is not able to carry all the people alone. The burden was too heavy for Moses, and he was desperate for relief and help.

That’s the result when we say yes to everything. The burden becomes too heavy and we become desperate for relief. There is a cost to being overcommitted. When we accept everything brought to us, without first checking with the Lord, we end up taking on too many things. When our plate is so full, and we are juggling way too many balls, we will end up doing everything halfway. We will feel constantly behind. And we will lose our joy in the act of doing and serving. Eventually, if we don’t acknowledge and realize what God already does, we will collapse under the weight of what God never asked you to carry. If we ignore God and keep going, we will burn out, get frustrated, and become resentful. And that’s not the fruit of obedience. We aren’t heroes when we take on more than we should. We hurt ourselves and we delay the rewards of obedience.

So what do we do about it? We do like all those who came before us in the Old Testament and the New Testament: we set boundaries. We establish margin in our life. And guess what? Boundaries are biblical. They’re not selfish or mean. Boundaries are a way we can excel at stewarding our time and our peace. We are responsible for stewarding our time, energy, family, and calling.

Nehemiah was a good example of one who set boundaries by refusing distractions. In Nehemiah 6:3 he says, “I am doing a great work and I cannot come down.” Nehemiah didn’t want to be pulled away from what God had called him to do. It could have been easy for him to entertain the people’s requests, meetings, conversations, and other distractions, but Nehemiah chose obedience, self-control, and discipline. He didn’t fear missing out. He didn’t take the bait to feed his ego or try to feel good by being needed. He said no so that he could stay focused on his God-given assignment.

The Apostle Paul was another example. In Philippians 3:12-14 he repeats his goal and aim: twice he says, “I press on,” and three times he says “I lay hold of.” Paul set his eyes on one thing, forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead. Paul eliminated distractions, past failure, and competing priorities, so that he could pursue Christ fully. Paul knew the order: God first, family second, and everything else after. He didn’t let his calendar become an idol. He didn’t let his schedule pull him away from God. He didn’t let busyness replace intimacy with God.

Here’s an obvious truth: You can’t be everything to everyone. Healthy boundaries are necessary and good for us physically, mentally, and spiritually. We need to put some protections in place so that we can be careful stewards of our calendars and our families.

Would you like to know the greatest example we have to follow? Jesus. He shows us that it is okay to say no, and we can say no and still be kind, grateful, and without feeling guilt or shame. Jesus lived with clear priorities. In John 6:38 He says, “I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of him who sent me.” What did that look like? In Mark 1:35-38, people were looking for Jesus and ministry demands were very high. Instead of staying where He was, Jesus tells His disciples in v. 38, “Let us go somewhere else to the towns nearby, in order that I may preach there also; for that is what I came out for.” Even though Jesus did not meet every need while on earth and Jesus did not say yes to every single request made of Him, He did stay focused on His mission.

Nehemiah, Paul, and Jesus had that in common. They weren’t doing everything. They were doing what God told them to do.

So if you find yourself needing to say no, what are some ways to do that? Here’s a few ways to show kindness, gratitude, and humility when declining requests:

• “I’m honored you asked, but I can’t commit to that right now.”
• Thank you for considering me, but it’s not something I can take on in this current season of my life.”
• I’m grateful for the opportunity but I want to be faithful where God has me, so I can’t add anything else right now.”

It’s possible to still be kind without being available. Please know that you don’t have to prove your faithfulness by how much you carry. Just be faithful to what God actually gave you to do right now. Protect your time with Him. Protect your family and your calling.

Being faithful is saying yes to God, while having obedience to say no to the rest.