Insecurity is a silent but powerful struggle that affects countless women—sometimes so deeply that it shapes how we view our bodies, our relationships, our roles in life, and even our faith. It whispers lies about our worth, clouds our identity in Christ, and slowly erodes our peace and contentment. So the question remains: How do I feel comfortable in my own skin?
Let’s start by calling it what it is. Insecurity is often rooted in pride and fear. Pride says, ‘I want to be number one. I want to be better than others.’ Fear says, ‘I’m not enough. I’ll never measure up.’ Together, they stir up comparison, jealousy, envy, and anxiety—and they rob us of the joy and freedom Christ intends for us to have.
This battle shows up in all areas of life. In marriage, in our parenting, on the job, at school, and in our friendship circles. It also affects both men and women, and hits all ages from kids up to older adults.
Insecurity also impacts how we see ourselves. From body image to self-esteem, we often fall into the trap of comparison. Maybe we don’t wear dresses because we hate our arms or legs. Maybe we avoid social situations because we feel inferior. These feelings can even manifest in eating disorders or excessive obsession with beauty enhancements.
It can strike in the workplace too. We may envy someone else’s position or abilities, or feel like our contributions don’t matter. Insecurity blinds us to our own gifts and makes it hard to celebrate the success of others. Or perhaps we feel stuck in a season of life—waiting to get married, have children, or become grandparents—and everyone around us seems to be moving forward. We grieve about what hasn’t happened yet in our life, and shame creeps in because we feel left behind or somehow less than.
If we’re not careful, insecurity can become a stronghold. It’s a mindset that tells us we are missing something essential to being complete, valued, or loved. And Satan uses that mindset to stir the pot. He plants seeds of discontent and whispers lies until we begin to believe that something is wrong with us. But Genesis 3:11 reminds us of God’s question to Adam and Eve after the fall: “Who told you that you were naked?” The same question applies to us today. Who told you that you’re not enough? The answer is: the enemy.
True contentment and security can only be found in Christ. He is our identity, and through Him, we are free—free to be who He made us to be. We don’t need to look like anyone else, live like anyone else, or achieve what others have. We are called to run our own race, not someone else’s.
Psalm 139:13-14, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”
Psalm 139 tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. God handcrafted each of us uniquely, and when we try to measure ourselves against others, we are essentially saying that His design isn’t good enough. That’s a dangerous mindset and one that robs us of peace.
2 Corinthians 10:12, “Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.”
Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 10:12 that comparing ourselves to others is foolish. God never intended for us to be carbon copies of one another.
We can also misjudge what we envy. If we truly knew the behind-the-scenes reality of someone else’s life, we might not be so quick to covet it. The perfect marriage might be plagued with abuse. The perfect body might be the result of a chronic illness. We only see the surface.
God wants us to bloom where we’re planted. He’s calling us to be faithful in the season we are in, not to obsess over someone else’s calling. When we’re insecure, we fail to appreciate what we do have. We become ungrateful for God’s provision. And in that ungratefulness, we open the door to bitterness, resentment, and self-pity. Insecurity says, ‘I’m not enough,’ but the truth is that none of us are—apart from Christ. We are all undeserving, yet God has lavished His love and grace upon us. It’s only through Jesus that we can be made whole.
The Bible is full of “one another” verses because God calls us to live in community, to lift each other up, and to prefer others over ourselves (Philippians 2). Rather than tearing others down because of our own insecurities, we are to cheer them on, celebrate their victories, and live in unity as the body of Christ.
Insecurity keeps us bound. It keeps us quiet when we should be bold. It keeps us hidden when we should shine. It keeps us timid when we should stand firm. But in Christ, we are secure. We are known. We are loved. We are chosen. Let us live from that identity.
If you’re struggling with insecurity, ask the Lord to show you the root. Is it pride? Is it fear? Is it comparison? Bring it to Him. He already knows. He is the only One who can bring healing and freedom. And once you’ve laid it down, choose to walk in truth.
Your identity is not in your body, your job, your relationship status, or your abilities. Your identity is in Jesus. Let Him be the foundation of your worth. Let Him show you how to live free.
So how do you feel comfortable in your own skin? You surrender your insecurities to the Savior. You choose gratitude over comparison. You anchor your worth in Christ, not in the ever-shifting standards of the world. And you remind yourself daily that you are enough—not because of what you’ve done, but because of what He has done.
You can’t fix yourself by yourself. But Jesus can. And He already did—on the cross. Now, it’s time to live like it. It’s time to be free.