Mother’s Day can be a sensitive subject with many people. Some have moms that are very close, and the relationship has been a wonderful experience. Others have moms who have passed away and it’s been a long time since you have felt her hug or heard her voice. For others, their mom has been either physically absent from their lives or emotionally absent and others have graciously stepped in as motherly roles when moms were not able or willing to.
This world we live in is broken and there are so many things that seek to tear moms away from their families. Some, like work and social outings, are not in and of themselves bad things. Others, like alcohol, drugs, and relationships, can be very destructive. So if you find this Mother’s Day to be difficult to celebrate because of pain or loss, take comfort in God’s Word.
Hebrews 13:5, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”
Maybe your mom was not a godly mom. Maybe she chose the world and its pleasures and selfish things over her family and children. And maybe there hasn’t been reconciliation and restoration of that relationship. Although I don’t know your situation, I am confident of this: as a believer, God gives us the ability to forgive. I have seen some less-than-ideal situations with unfortunate outcomes, yet forgiveness and reconciliation were achieved in time. God is able and for Him, all things are possible.
This special day in May can also be hard if you are a mom who is shattered and struggling as you take care of and raise your children. I want to encourage you to keep on keeping on in taking care of your kids and doing the next right thing in these hard years of childrearing.
Don’t check out from your role and responsibilities. The world will try to lure you away from your home and those little ones, and the enemy will tempt you with loneliness. But that’s when you need to surround yourself with an army of godly women to come alongside you and encourage you and strengthen you in God’s Word. You need your sisters in Christ to pray for you and with you and to remind you who you are in Christ.
It’s easy to get plugged in to the world because we work in it and we frequent the marketplace and immerse ourselves in the culture, and so the enemy has prime real estate in our hearts and minds to pull us in wrong directions. We end up placing so many other things above our children and pushing them to the side and fulfilling our own desires. As a mother, your children need you. They need your love, time, attention, and instruction. When you check out, they will fill your place with other people and things – and they may not be healthy or safe.
For many mom who are in the midst of child-rearing, there is the temptation to get weary and burned out with the responsibilities; and very quickly, it’s easy to entertain those thoughts of “I can’t wait until they can talk, or dress themselves, or go to the bathroom and stop wearing diapers” or “I can’t wait until they start school” or “I can’t wait until they can drive themselves” or “I can’t wait until they graduate.” As a mom with two grown children, let me tell you the years will pass quicker than you realize! You blink and before you know it, they are adults and doing life on their own. Don’t be quick to wish these years away.
It’s hard to wait – for many things in life, but the Bible tells us we are to be “active waiters”. This means that we are not supposed to just idly wait for God to bring about the next season of life for us or our children, but we are to be actively faithful to Him, working for His Kingdom and continue “doing” in the in-between times. We demonstrate our faith by giving Him those big things and seasons, and we live it out by serving Him right where He’s placed us, while we wait.
What about the moms who are older and whose children are grown and married and have families of their own? Maybe you look back on your years of child-rearing with regret because of the choices you’ve made and the life you’ve lived. There is hope and encouragement for you too!
Colossians 3:1-8, “Therefore, if you have been raised with Christ, keep seeking the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on the things that are above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory. Therefore, treat the parts of your earthly body as dead to sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry. For it is because of these things that the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, and in them you also once walked, when you were living in them. But now you also, rid yourselves of all of them: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene speech from your mouth.”
In Colossians 3:7, Paul tells the believers, “In these you too once walked…” This is saying that the Christians this book was written to had pasts that were just like the sins described in the previous verses. That shows us there is no such thing as a person with an unforgivable past, or sins too bad for God! He is able and willing to set any and all free from every bit of the sin in their life! Verse 8 starts with “But now…” What a transformation!! They once were walking in sin, but now are walking free! They have left their old life behind and are pursuing Christ and have a wonderful testimony of salvation to share along the way, just like we do!:
One of the greatest benefits of the body of Christ, the church, is that we have so many mommas! There are so many women in the church who help to fill in that role of mom regardless if you have a biological mom active in your life or not. Our church has so many women – of all ages – that can and do come alongside troubled teens, or out-of-town college students, or single moms with armfuls of kiddos, or middle-aged widows.
What a blessing to have those extra moms in our life. But what a blessing also to be one! It goes right along with the Titus 2 call, you know?
Titus 2:3-5, “Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”
If we are an older mom, then turn around and help that younger mom. Step in and help with meal planning or watch her kids while she runs to the grocery store. Drop by and help her catch up on laundry. If you are the younger mom, look for an older mom to pour into you and share her wisdom with you. Seek her out and share your struggles and burdens and ask her to pray for you.
Even if you have no children of your own, you can be a “mother” to others. You can help nurture and care for those little ones you meet. They look up to you, whether you know it or not. They watch you and learn from you and what an opportunity for you to be involved in their lives and pour into them the love of Christ! God created women to be nurturers. Sometimes it seems to come easier toward our pets or our houseplants than towards people, but I pray we will step into our roles, in whatever they are, and not grow weary. Let’s not grow weary, give up, or check out as we nurture our own children. And let’s be encouraged to nurture others’ children and be an extra momma to those younger women so they can see Christ revealed through our words and actions
Click here to listen to the podcast episode: the nurturing woman